It is an honor to live a life where we as human beings are capable of dreaming, creating, and implementing. A unique feature of our existence is using our mind, body, and heart to envision a distinct future for ourselves. We are able to use our experiences, personalities, successes, enjoyments, strengths, imperfections, and weaknesses to build a life that we believe to be meaningful and essential to our existence.
Having a sense of purpose is what stabilizes us. Without a sense of meaning or significance in this world, we will find ourselves in deep holes.
In my 21 years of life, I have always felt strongly about my vocation/purpose being occupational therapy. The profession has enlightened my understanding of myself and revealed my deepest passion for people. Since grade school, I would question my desire to see people "whole"--mentally, emotionally, physically, and environmentally, I would question my willingness to serve the needs of others by pleasing them, which could be interpreted as a flawed trait in certain situations, I would question my gentle and soft demeanor, I would question the empathy I had for those who were in pain or suffering from the internal and external forces in their lives, and I would question the feeling of responsibility to guide people into becoming the best version of themselves, whether that be relationally, financially, and academically. Even as a 9-year-old little girl, I have always told my parents, "I want to help people!" but I did not know how my way of helping would play out, until the essence of OT became a reality to me, which is to improve the quality of people's everyday life. The profession sparked an unknown passion for me, as I began to finally envision the many tangible and practical ways I can possibly help people through this profession. Occupational therapy became my blueprint for changing the world.
Fast forward to 2021, ya' girl is finally in OT school! It feels AMAZING to be in a place where you are pursuing a career you have dreamed of pursuing since a kid, while also being amongst others who have been carrying that same dream in their hearts.
Moreover, I am sure many can relate to this experience... but as you are on a journey of becoming the person you have always envisioned yourself into being, you will encounter some doubters or "questioners". The same way we have a vision for ourselves, the people around us may also have a vision for our lives--this can either go good or bad, so let's talk about the question.. "Are you sure you want to go to OT school?"
Alright, so yes.. as stated before, this question may be coming from people who are "hating" on you or "questioning" your worth. This question may also be coming from those who genuinely care for your success and want to support the decisions you are making for yourself, such as your parents, counselors, and best friends. Lastly, this question may also be coming from YOURSELF! On a serious note, we sometimes question our worth and the decisions we make for ourselves, which leads us to experience doubt, fear, anxiety, and distress.
I don't know about you, but I do not enjoy people questioning me...
Honestly, if I am genuinely telling you my plans for my future, and you question those plans.. I automatically think you are against me. In reality, this is not always the case, but this is how I feel 90% of the time.
As I am near the end of 1st semester in OT school, I think through that question,"Are you sure you want to go to OT school?", often. Before, I would be upset if anyone asked me that question, but now that I am currently intimately engaging in the profession in school, I find myself asking that same question frequently... many would say, "You're being hypocritical Gloria."
If I am being honest, OT school is H A R D. It is not easy to step away from undergraduate school, and then enter a profession that requires you to challenge your idea and outlook on providing care for people, translating your knowledge into a professional setting, and embracing your new identity as an OT student and a future practitioner. These are a few of the challenges I have been experiencing, but I want to emphasize on the last point--embracing my new identity as an OT student and a future practitioner.
I don't think I have ever questioned my abilities as much as I have this semester. There is a pressure that I feel in my professionalism and future work as a practitioner. What exactly is this pressure? It is this pressure to perform--to be an exceptional student in class by asking many questions, while also correctly answering all the questions that are thrown at me, to be quick at understanding the content that is being taught, and to know how to effectively apply all that I am learning into my day to day life and future practice. This pressure that I place on myself has challenged my ability to embrace my professional identity in occupational therapy, but can I be honest with yall? I am weak!
Okay, okay, okay.. MAYBE not entirely weak, but it takes a lot to be strong and endure the emotional, mental, and physical obstacles and hurdles that we tend to face on a daily basis. I AM MY OWN HURDLE, sometimes.
I doubt my ability to finish an assignment.
I fear that I will not be able to apply the content I am learning.
And I feel inadequate when I do not understand certain elements in class.
These are all experiences I have faced, which led me to ask myself, "Are you sure you want to go to OT school?" Within my time of contemplation, I began to recognize how far I have come from each doubt, insecurity, and hurdle. Although I've doubted, I got the assignment done, although I was fearful, I was able to make my learning applicable, and although I felt inadequate in my lack of understanding, I slowly began to understand.
Overall, I have learned that hardships do not determine my outcomes, and my authenticity, commitment to growth, and pursuit of justice can be a healing factor to my development as a future practitioner. Let's dive into 3 core commitments that have helped me stay grounded as I pursue the field of OT, and I also believe these commitments will help you form your own!
Authenticity, commitment to growth, and pursuit of justice are my 3 core commitments as I embrace this journey of becoming an occupational therapist.
1. Authenticity - As stated before, OT school is not easy. Personally, I think it is a hard profession to endure because you are facing your doubts, fears, and insecurities as you are consuming new and distinct knowledge about the profession, and then learning how to apply that knowledge effectively--this takes time. We live in a society where we feel the need to be "perfect" at all times. Humans are afraid of people seeing their weak moments, and we tend to run away from being vulnerable. What if we changed our understanding of our weaknesses? This is where authenticity comes in place. If I am being truthful, I cannot endure OT school alone. I have my moments where I want to cry, I have my moments where I am fearful of failing the NBCOT, and I have my moments where I don't think I am worth being in OT school. Dismissing these feelings, emotions, and thoughts I have will not be helpful in my journey of embracing my professional identity. Instead, being honest and real about them will lead me into a place of healing. I become much more graceful with myself when I accept the realities of life--life is hard and I am not perfect, and that is okay. I can meet myself where I am, following my God-given pace. I am committed to being authentic by being real and honest about my struggles, not ignoring them, instead letting my hardships be a part of the beautiful story that is forming.
2. Commitment to Growth - Nothing that is worth pursuing is easy. If I want the BEST for myself, then I must work for it. We are not meant to stay or BE stagnant in our lives, instead it is vital for us to continuously challenge ourselves to grow and develop. I have a passion to help people in the world, but before I can commit to this, I have to make a personal commitment to keep myself in a place of growth. What can I currently do in OT school to make my experience more meaningful? How can I connect with my classmates and professors to expand my knowledge? How should I change the rhythms in my day to be more disciplined in getting my homework done? Should I invest in a therapist to debrief about some of the emotional stress I am going through? When should I make time to call friends and family to feel a sense of "home"? These are all questions that signify my commitment to growth, and they all will add to my mental, emotional, and physical well-being. When we are authentic, our next step should be a commitment to growth. I do not have to stay in a place of hurt, pain, distress, and confusion. I can use my past experience, whether good or bad, to help prepare me to engage in this journey of growth.
3. Pursuit of justice - Once I do the internal work within myself, it is now time to make a commitment that will impact the people around me. A healthy therapist creates a healthy world. Occupational therapy is a justice-oriented profession, and if I am willing to commit to the pursuit of justice, I must be sure that I am using my gifts, talents, skills, knowledge, and experiences to make an impact. In OT, we tend to use the phrase, "The therapeutic use of self", which is why I started my commitments focusing on my self-development. OTs believe that every person has the right to engage in meaningful occupations, whether that is to dress yourself, eat with your family, play a sport, work at a job, live in a house, and more. OTs are committed to ensuring their patients have the opportunity to DO anything and everything that may be beneficial to the patient's mental, emotional, physical, and environmental health. In my commitment to justice, I want to be sure that I am aware of the issues that my clients may face on a daily basis because of their geographical location, access to healthcare, level of education, environmental disparities, and personal factors. I must not become desensitized about the pain, suffering, and barriers that we as humans face, so I am committed to being aware of the daily problems that people are facing and using my stance as a future occupational therapist to dismantle those barriers to improve people's quality of life.
Redirecting to our initial point on vocation and purpose, we all can attest that having a sense of meaning in life brings joy to our existence. If we think about it, our vocation/purpose tends to revolve around humans helping each other or adding to someone's life in a positive way. We have this commitment to SERVE others, whether that is our spouse, family members, friends, or strangers.
I can confidently say that life is so much bigger than us, and we will find our meaning in it when we commit to serving those around us. In knowing this, I am encouraged to continue my journey in embracing my identity as a future occupational therapist because I know this is the field that gives me the opportunity to practically express my commitment to service, as I use my gifts, talents, skills, and knowledge to do so. I know OT school is the perfect place for me to grow in my authenticity, commitment to growth, and pursuit of justice.
This is only the beginning..
Comments